Couples and Marital Counseling

Rudy’s approach to Couples Therapy & Coaching integrates proven, effective interventions from several of the most widely respected and empirically validated frameworks in relationship therapy.

Their collective focus incorporate: Attachment, Cognitive-Behavioral, Psychodynamic, Experiential frameworks of therapy.

  1. The Gottman Method (John and Julie Gottman)
  2. Susan Johnson’s Emotionally Focused therapy EFT
  3. Ellen Bader and Dr. Peter Pearson’s The Couples’ Institute
  4. Terry Real, Relational Life Institute

Let’s face it, everything in life is about relationships

From biology and physiology, to astronomy and  engineering, to human interactions and communication.  Moreover, we exist and thrive in a universe that is perpetually changing, interacting, compensating, adjusting, and evolving.

Achieving a functioning, healthy balance between: how much we count on others for connection and significance, and our innate independent drive to develop individual identity and purpose,  can be a challenging journey.

As EFT founder Susan Johnson asserts in her description of human beings, “we depend on each other to survive and thrive”.  She punctuates how vital it is for therapists and clinicians to understand the vital roles that “bonding and belonging” play while working with couples.

John and Julie Gottman’s body of work and extensive research have also helped to revolutionize couples therapy by introducing the idea that certain patterns of behaviors and types of interactions can predict with over 90% accuracy, whether or not couples stay together over a long period of time.

The way couples communicate, connect, love, and attempt repair say a lot about their respective personalities and styles; and unless partners are deeply curious and aware about those qualities (in themselves and their partners), then misunderstandings and unfulfilled expectations consume the relationship.

Here is a short clip of what can go wrong in relationships as seen through Gottman’s Four Horsemen Of The Apocalypse:

“How do we get started with couples therapy? What happens first?

COUPLES “STARTER” PACKAGE

If you are just not quite certain what direction to pursue with helping your relationship move toward a better path, the following program might just be what you need to test the waters of couples therapy, as well as to explore whether further couples therapy is for you.

You will receive close to six hours of face-to-face time with your therapist, which will help you begin to address the issues that have brought you into therapy in the first place.

This phase will be scheduled to take place over a 4-6 week period, and includes preparation of the treatment plan:

Session 1  

  • 2 Hours with the couple and therapist: we will explore your relationship history, review goals, discuss challenges, assess your individual and relational communication and attachment styles, and identify barriers to intimacy, safety, and trust.

Sessions 2 & 3 

  • One Hour (total of 2 hours): with each individual partner and therapist (on separate days and times). This session is designed for you to spend some one-one time with your therapist. You will have an opportunity to process and discuss more of your personal history, as well as to address any personal issues that might have not come up in Session 1.

Session 4

  • 90 Minutes:  your therapist will review his assessment of his time with you as a couple and individually, He will present you a summary and outline of your strengths and challenges, and how your relationship can improve going forward.  You will also receive some relationship strategy handouts and checklists for you to implement, and go over what regular couples therapy would entail going forward.

FEE: $800 (payable in two payments) 

Rudy Hayek, MA, MFT